To El Presidente Nieto of Mexico

Dear El Presidente Nieto:

        Before I begin, I wish, out of respect for your position, to say that I am going to write some nasty things about Donald TrumPutin Birther. He is the president of my country, and I am told that one is not supposed to disrespect the office of the presidency as I am doing now. But, Por Favor, these are not usual times, and this traitorous creep that is plaguing the USA right now, deserves absolutely NO RESPECT. He is a bully, an “Abusivo”. (I am trying to learn Spanish, especially since the TrumPutin creep entered our lives, so please forgive me if I use a wrong word here and there. I am 67 and trying to learn a new language after all these miserable years).

I was viciously bullied while growing up, and have dealt with bullies my entire life, so I know a malignant bully when I see one, so please, if, while you are reading this letter, you feel I am disrespecting you, another president, of another country, I am not. I do not know you, Senior Presidente, so unless I was born, live, and work in Mexico, I know nothing bad or good to say about you except that I am sorry that you too have had to deal with the Trump creep, and so far, I thank you for how you have been handling him.

I love Mexico. I love Mexicans. I love their food. I love their music. If it were up to me, I would blow up the border between our countries. I believe in being a good neighbor on a tiny planet orbiting a tiny star in our vast universe. Again, I am trying to learn Spanish, especially in my country which should respect that language as much as they respect English. I demand too that Spanish be an official language of the USA.

California, Nevada, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, and, I believe, Texas are Spanish names. They used to belong to Mexico. There was a war, and then there was a treaty between Mexico and the USA, and I believe that if the birther creep Trump builds a stinking wall, he is violating that treaty as well as violating the trust of a long-time neighbor. If the traitor birther creep Trump builds his wall, declare war on his tuchis (sorry about my Yiddish/ Spanish) because he is violating our treaty.

Trump was elected because half of the registered voters in the USA did not vote. Now, we are learning a lesson that I hope we never forget. In the meantime, I hope that the fascist and racist creep in our white house does not blow up our entire planet. He is working hard to undermine our natural parks and our waterways and our civil rights. And I hope we can impeach him before he does more damage. As it is, it is going to take us years to recover from the “Godzilla” damage the birther creep is doing to the USA.

I want to apologize to you and to the rest of the countries of this planet for the fact that we were derelict in our responsibility to vote and placed a creep, a Putin loving fiend, a racist, a sex abuser, a racist in the highest office in our land. I am embarrassed and ashamed to have Donald Hijo de Puto as president of the USA, and I promise you that I will legally fight this bastard to my dying breath.

I want to thank you for not taking any crap from Trump. I thank you for standing against him about that “Maldita Sea” wall. They should build a wall around Trump’s cursed head and choke him with it. I want to thank you for refusing to meet with him. YOU ARE A BIGGER MAN THAN TRUMP WILL EVER BE!!! Please continue to deny him any audience. Please encourage the other nations of the world who do not believe in being naked apes to stand with you and against Trump and his treasonous totalitarian Putinist ways. Boycott him to death!!!

The citizens of the USA are under siege right now, and we need every friend on this planet to stand by our resistance or else see the end of democracy and perhaps an end to human life as we know it in nuclear fire. 

Again, I apologize for what my country did in not voting and allowing the cancer of fascism to enter our lives. Yet, I believe in the basic good of the USA, and in bravery such as yours that will help the USA and other free nations of the world to stand against this TrumPutin fiend and the totalitarian evil he represents.

You and all Mexicans will always be welcome here! Viva México and Viva Español.

Respectfully,

Gary Perl